The Math Bath and Other Water Wonders

At our orientation to adoptive parenting, we were cautioned that children from Chinese orphanages may not have encountered the concept of a bath and that they would naturally have a fear of water. When we received Lil, it was immediately apparent that she had not been introduced to soap and water, but to our surprise, when the tub was filled for the first time, she launched in, face in all and came up laughing. She has been a little fish since that introduction hence her position on the swim team.

Grace came to us sparkling clean in a lovely silk dress, but quickly assessed the night time bath as torture and she asserted her displeasure at decibels above human auditory tolerance. We built the wet room and she gradually adapted but when she began swim classes last year, she quickly became known as "the screamer". In her defence, the YMCA teacher was young and pouty and she and Grace exchanged scowls and loud objections for the entire 8 weeks. Grace flunked tiny terrifieds.

Not to be dissuaded, we took a term off and signed her up with the city swim class and when we got there..the teacher giving the class was the same young, pouty, scowler. However, the teacher Grace was assigned to was a little perky blond who Grace immediately bonded with and with any luck her reputation as a screamer will be silenced.

Grace is a contemplative little girl who doesn't suffer fools. For that reason, I was a little queasy about her JK orientation this week but she walked into the school like she owned the place. The teachers fawned all over her because she is so cute, but she brushed them away in favour of kicking soccer balls across the gym with such force that I considered that swimming may not be where her talents lay. She also showed considerable talent with the hula hoop, jewellery making, building construction and in our travel about the school we ran into a previous swimming classmate who said "look Mom, there's the screamer". Shortly afterwards the evening ended abruptly when I realized she had picked up a marker and illustrated a large sperm at the drawing station. Grace has not yet grown into her name but I'll leave the sweet unsuspecting teachers to figure that out next September. I am expecting phone calls.

It is also rumoured that Chinese kids are good at math and Lil of course, continues to be the exception to any preconceived notion.
Sensing her losing her grip in grade 3 math and the provincial exams quickly approaching, Lil and I spent the recent PD day as well as every evening going over the same mathematical concepts of measurement. She wants to be a chef but simply could not get the hang of measurement. So we had the measuring cups, droppers, bottles out measuring in millilitres and liters and would break for the day when I was sure she got it. Next morning...groundhog day...no recollection of the previous days work. What's bigger Lil, a litre or a millilitre? Every day the wrong answer...for six days.

"Get me some nitroglycerin" I say to Tony.
"Chest pain?" he questions
"Yes for the chest pain and because I want to blow up the math book"
"And the back wall of the house?" he cautions
"Sweet...that would get me a new kitchen"

"Lil, if you were in a water fight would you rather get nailed with a millilitre or a liter of water? I ask
"A litre" she responds
And then it happened...that moment in parenting when you could justifiably defend yourself with an insanity plea...
I made it so. A litre of water dispensed on the head of my math student.

She's had the right answer every day since.
My chest pain is gone away.
My old kitchen remains intact.
We're looking for a tutor.