The Hole Truth

When we relocated from the frigid climate of Alberta to the most southern point of Canada, an in ground swimming pool was high up on the wish list and once the house was renovated to a livable state, we naively bought our pool at the local home show. We discovered quickly that the company we had contracted dug all the new pools at the same time, framed all the pools at the same time etc. so we spent all of that first summer looking at and trying to keep the dogs out of the mud hole that used to be our beautiful yard. At the end of the summer a landscape company came in and planted some beautiful maples and greenery around the pool, put up a 5 foot fence and all was right with the world.

By the second year in, we were learning the ropes of pool ownership, and other than rescuing the dogs and local bunnies when they fell in, and trying to keep the geese and ducks from setting up a habitat in our yard, it was pretty entertaining for visiting family and friends.
However, when the third year arrived, we needed a new pump and the heater stopped working. Being eco-aware and concerned about the electrical and gas costs associated with running our pool, we installed a solar heating system on the roof of the house. Within a year, several leaks sprouted in our panels, as apparently the neighbourhood squirrels, racoons and birds took a personal dislike and gnawed away at the plastic panels. The company that installed the system were afraid to go back on the roof to service it. After a few years of bribing various pool technicians to climb onto our roof to patch the panels, we gave up on our solar panels and invested in a solar blanket to cover the water surface.

The solar blanket did keep the water warmer, and greener and our battle with algae began. As some point we realized that we had put so much chemical into the water to kill the bugs that we were now afraid to swim in it. Nevertheless, we replaced the worn out liner, the sand filter that was now contaminated with algae, and bought a professional electric pool vacuum as the maple trees that now towered over the pool, scattered keys and leaves over the water surface daily.

Last year, we converted the pool to a salt water system, which has had its own learning curve. We also added a gas heater because the kids refuse to use the pool until the temperature rises above 86 degrees. The plumbing that transports water from the pool back to the pump springs a leak 2 or 3 times each summer, requiring interventions that cost more than Tony gets paid to deliver a baby. The vacuum system works wonderfully if you don't mind hauling the 40 pound unit in and out of the pool every day. By my calculations, the cost of running and maintaining this hole for two months of the year is $5000. The kids swim in the pool about once a week for eight weeks.

I've asked for a backhoe for my 60th birthday because what I really want to do is fill this hole with dirt and grow tomatoes in it. "We can fill it in, or move" I deliver the ultimatum to my dear man.
"Uh oh, is this like the we can adopt again or get another dog ultimatum?" he suggests.
I see a lot of tomatoes in my future.